As you might suspect, newspaper people, in general, are a peculiar lot. The Logan Banner’s staff is no exception. We all have our quirks (and some have more than others, although I will name no names). We are also known to make mistakes and be accident-prone. Typographical errors are what most folks notice first when picking up their paper. However, besides bad spelling and silly typos, there are other mistakes of language and usage that you may catch from time to time, such as dangling or hanging participles. I know dangling participles are not considered acceptable in standard English and should be avoided. Yet, since when have we been accused of being “standard?”

Even though we know better, we have to plead guilty of such blunders in the past. Here’s an example of a hanging participle: “The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5’ 10”, with wavy hair weighing about 150 pounds.” So, did his hair really weigh as much as a small motorcycle? Or, another: “Mrs. Judy Smith, who went deer hunting with her husband, is very proud that she was able to shoot a fine buck as well as her husband.” If strict logic were applied to that sentence, Judy proudly bagged her limit: one deer and one hubby. See what I mean?

Another problem in the newsroom can be in the wording of headlines. The amalgamation of a heavy workload and a stringent deadline can lend itself to amazingly stupid goof ups in this area, too. Our typing occasionally moves faster than our finite thought processes. The result can be amusing to some readers, and often a little humiliating for our staff. Case in point, my wife was on the Internet and found a list of funny headlines. These are all legitimate, supposedly. We both chuckled over many of these, so I decided to pass them along.

1. - Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

2. - Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

3. - Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

4. - Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

5. - Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

6. - Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

7. - Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

8. - Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

9. - Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

10. - British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

11. - Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

12. - Eye Drops Off Shelf

13. - Teachers Strike Idle Kids

14. - Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

15. - Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax

16. - Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

17. - Miners Refuse to Work after Death

18. - Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

19. - Stolen Painting Found by Tree

20. - Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter

21. - Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

22. - Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

23. - War Dims Hope for Peace

24. - If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

25. - Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

26. - Deer Kill 17,000

27. - Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

28. - Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

29. - Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

30. - Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

31. - New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

32. - Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

33. - Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

34. - Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

35. - Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire

36. - Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

37. - Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

38. - New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

39. - Hospital Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

Great aren’t they. We promise to work harder on our typos and language blunders. Not to HAVE more typos, but to hopefully eliminate them. But, whatever you do, still keep a close watch on our headlines.

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Have A Good Week!