Editor,

Friends, Americans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I come here today to praise the Republicans, not bury them. Although Republicans are currently politically dead on the national level, significant numbers remain to fight for a resurrection.

The Republicans still remaining in Congress are great about twisting the truth and telling outright lies. But, how can they justify their actions to themselves, and why must they lie? After eight years in which the republicans so clearly showed their stripe, I believe that I can now answer those questions. First, as to “how” they justify themselves. For many people, God is the most important aspect of their lives and just as Abraham was fully prepared to sacrifice Isaac, Jews and Christians are capable of doing absolutely anything if they believe that it is for the sake of their God. Likewise, the most important thing in the lives of republicans is money, and money has become like unto their god. Consequently, Republicans can twist the truth, tell lies, and do anything else so long as it is for the sake of money.

As to the question of “why” they do it, there is an equally obvious answer. The Republicans continue to obstruct the new administration and continue to push for their trickledown theory of economics; an economic plan that guarantees that the rich will get richer, whether ordinary people can afford to put food on their tables or not. Obviously, the Republicans can’t tell the truth about their real motive, and since rich people are a distinct minority, they must deceive and exploit the greed in many ordinary people before they can win control of the government. In the history of the United States, it has never been made more clear as in the past eight years, the intent of the Republicans to promulgate policies and laws that disproportionately serve the interests of the rich.

First, the Republicans gave hundreds of billions of dollars to the rich in the form of the Bush tax cuts. Next, the Republicans waged a contentious war against Iraq, resulting in ordinary people dying, while rich people profited from lucrative reconstruction contracts. Then, the Republicans allowed the oil companies to rape the economy of hundreds of billions of dollars, while at the same time, continuing to give those same oil companies billions of tax dollars in subsidies. Finally, the Republicans deregulated banks and corporations to the extent that, when exacerbated by all those factors above, the United States, and even the rest of the world, was brought to the very brink of economic collapse. The United States today is comparable to what Rome used to be, and lire old saying, “as Rome goes, so goes the world.”

The whole situation reminds me of the old fable of the frog and the scorpion. The frog and the scorpion met on the bank of a wide stream, and just as the frog was about to go into the water to cross the stream, the scorpion asked if he could get a ride over on the frog’s back. The frog refused, arguing that the scorpion would sting him, and he would drown. The scorpion responded, “Don’t be silly. If you drown, I would too.” It sounded like a reasonable argument, so the frog agreed. About half way across the stream, the scorpion stung the frog. In amazement, the frog said, “Why did you do that? Now we’re both going to die.” The scorpion responded, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. It’s just a part of my nature.”

Like the scorpion, what the Republicans do is simply a part of their nature and, apparently, greed and the love of money are not deadly sins when you serve a lesser god. But the Republicans are superior to the Jews and Christians in one regard — their dedication to their god. The love, devotion, and absolute loyalty that the Republicans always show to money, puts to shame the rebellious nature that the Jews and Christians oftentimes show to their God.

Sincerely,

Russell Marcum

Stollings